I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
