is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
