I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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