Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
