sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
