So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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