tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
