she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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