God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
