sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
