On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
