i think i have herpe
just one?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
