okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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