Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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