It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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