Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
