My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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