Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
