he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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