he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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