And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we made out on top of his cat.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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