i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
