just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
