im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
