I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
