batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
