Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
