Farmville is her only friend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
