We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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