school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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