call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
