Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
