you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
