I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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