Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
tell me about the fingering
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