woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He passed out mid-signature
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She even gives head with a lisp.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
