look no pants
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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