he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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