Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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