His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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