I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
