moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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