That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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