Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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