I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
