i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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