so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
