i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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