I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
