It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
